Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
