I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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