This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
