I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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