I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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