In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
