I'm drive I can fine osifer
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
