he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
