the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
