if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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