EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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