I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
