WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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