umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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