just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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