I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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