How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
