I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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