Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
