Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
