id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
