would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
