Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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