Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
