Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You have to summon your inner elephant
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
