oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
