I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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