how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
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