this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
