what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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