I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
