doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
