The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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