Christians are straight up FREAKS
youre lurking in front of me
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
