How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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