That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
