is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
