It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
