It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
