does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just want nice things and good sex
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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