I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
