what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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