Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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