This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
