$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
