I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
