btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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