Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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