I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
