I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
