i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
